‘The RINOs’ (with many thanks to Dr. Seuss)


Now, in Wyoming the R’s always held sway

For Wyoming, of course, is a bright red state.

But for years, the R’s held there was room in the tent

For all sorts — what mattered was keeping us best in the West.

So, the state chugged along in its open, friendly way

With R’s of all sorts, and even D’s, getting a say.

It was in the early 21st century, though,

When some of the R’s decided to say, “No!”

Those other R’s, they said, really must go. 

“They’re lower case, they’re cursive, they’re all sorts of phony.

While we’re the bold capital R’s, they’re R’s in name only.

And those D’s? Well, they’re nothing but traitors.

So what if some are our friends, family and neighbors!”

Those bold capital R’s, well, they hatched a plan

To get the D’s and those other R’s out of Cheyenne,

And out of the counties, cities and towns,

From the state legislature all the way down.

And whenever one of their chosen R’s lost,

They’d scream that those RINOs were really the cause.

But how happy they were when their chosen guy won,

They’d call all the shots; focus on culture wars, abortion and guns.

If a RINO said, “The state’s struggling and broke

And trying to deal with that really ain’t ‘woke,’”

Those bold R’s would jeer, “You’re really a D and this is your fault!”

And work in Cheyenne sometimes ground to a halt.

Those other folks? The ones who had always been D’s?

Well, they got more rare in the Leg, like Truffula trees.

They were still in Wyoming, of course, they simply realized

That being a loud and proud D here might not be wise.

Little by little some D’s became R’s (in name only)

Because voting as a D in Wyoming sure is lonely.

Mostly blank ballots with no ovals to fill.

Yet those folks’ love for the state was quite real.

No matter how daunting, disheartening, depressing,

They kept wanting a say in their home of Wyoming.

Then, in 2022, as fate would have it,

An election came along and attention? It grabbed it.

The world never cared much how Wyoming voted,

But this time, this Cheney? That vote was noted.

The choice spurred lots of D’s to switch letters and they found

That R ballot looked different all the way down.

For now they had choices, not always the best,

But having choices puts one to the test.

Who is this candidate? What do they stand for?

What are their policies? Which do we like more?

See, that’s the thing about letters and voting.

For too many years, people marked the oval by noting

Only the letter — that R or that D,

That single letter was all they needed to see.

Voting like that is too easy and makes people lazy,

And maybe it’s better when things are hazy.

For democracy isn’t a spectator sport,

And one should do homework before lending support.

D’s became R’s — RINOs for real.

But maybe, just maybe, that’s a good deal.

Because voting should be about values and issues and plans,

A solemn undertaking by those who understand

That choosing who represents us matters — it’s true!

It matters much more than just red or just blue.

The bold R’s worst nightmares just might come true

When no one knows if this one is that one or what one is who.

Lots of those RINOs may not change back,

And that might be a preferable plan of attack.

Making people learn before voting is surely better

Than continuing to vote based on one stupid letter.

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