I was thinking today about a classic scene from one of the films of my youth, “The Karate Kid.” At the climax of the movie, underdog Daniel Laruso is taking on his nemesis, bully Johnny Lawrence, in the championship round of a karate tournament. Johnny’s sensei tells him to “sweep the leg, Mr. Lawrence,” in order to win the tournament at any cost. 

Johnny does as he’s instructed, taking Daniel out and winning the tournament. It’s one of the most heartwarming points of the movie and the audience literally cheered the first time I saw it. 

There’s another film from my youth, “Back to the Future,” in which town bully Biff Tannen ruthlessly mocks and belittles George McFly, while also ordering McFly to do his (Biff’s) homework. At one point in the film, Biff is in the midst of sexually assaulting Lorraine (George’s love interest and future wife), and George stands up to Biff and says, “Take your damn hands off her.” 

Biff punches George and then spends the next few decades continuing to mock and belittle him. I can’t tell you how hard I laughed at that part of the movie when George was made to feel so small. 

There’s yet one more film that I’ve seen countless times. In “A Christmas Story,” protagonist Ralphie spends most of the movie yearning for a Red Ryder BB gun while also dealing with the neighborhood bully Scut Farkus and his sidekick Grover Dill. 

Eventually, Ralphie is hit in the face with a snowball while Scut taunts him. “Are you gonna cry for me now? Go on and cry,” sneers Farkis. Ralphie realizes he can’t win and runs home, crying all the way, while the kids on the playground rally around Scut. I swear, at that moment, Scut became my hero for all time for the way he mocked Ralphie and the tone he used when taunting him — it was truly magical and inspiring. 

By this point, I’m pretty sure you’re thinking that I must be out of my mind because that is not the way any of those scenes actually played out — at least I hope you are. 

In all of these films, the “little guy” won. And every single time, the audience cheered, delighting in the fact that the bully finally got what was coming to him. The audience never rooted for the bully. We always root for the underdog. Rightly so.

What I don’t understand, then, is how we have such a bullying problem in this country, especially with our young people. 

If we really, truly don’t like bullies, then why do we have so many of them? And why do we so often end up slipping into bullying ourselves?

I don’t have any answers to these questions. 

I was bullied as a kid. I had gum thrown in my hair at school and there were some neighborhood kids who were just brutal.

Most people I know could tell stories of being bullied.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’ve probably also been a bully myself at times. 

If the golden rule admonishes us to treat others as we want to be treated, why do we so often do the exact opposite? 

This problem seems to be getting worse, especially through social media. People seem to be willing to say things online that they would never really say out loud. 

Admittedly, my social media presence is fairly limited. I only started using Facebook — reluctantly — about six months ago. But I am regularly appalled at the horrific stuff that people will say to one another online. 

Why? What exactly is the purpose in making other people feel terrible? 

I recall being told as a child that bullies behave the way they do because they’re trying to make themselves feel better. They have low self-esteem; they’re unhappy with their own lives; they’re insecure, etc. 

If that’s the case, then we have a whole lot of insecure, unhappy people running around. 

Discussions seem to turn particularly nasty when we’re talking about politics. If someone disagrees with us on a policy or position, we frequently seem incapable of having a civil conversation about it. 

Instead we resort to name-calling and belittling. To say that this is childish behavior is actually an insult to children because I’ve seen some very young people with better manners than what I see frequently displayed. 

That brings me to a man who regularly takes to Twitter to insult people in 140 characters or less. Crooked Hillary, Pocahontas, Crazy Bernie, Rocket Man, Little Marco, Lyin’ Ted, Liddle Bob Corker, etc., etc. 

Our president comes up with a nickname for anyone and everyone who dares to disagree with him. 

I disagree with the president on pretty much every policy he has ever proposed and every move he has made since taking the oath of office. That’s the nature of politics and government — I disagree with lots of elected officials and have on a regular basis over the years. 

But what I really have a problem with is the way in which this particular president finds it necessary to demean and degrade others, throwing around taunts and insults nearly on a daily basis. 

Some people say that he’s “tellin’ it the way it is” and cheer him on. I maintain that he’s not really telling us anything because he rarely makes coherent statements regarding policy or the direction of the country. Hurling insults to get a laugh or a rise out of people is not “tellin’ it the way it is.” It’s making a joke out of what should be a solemn office, and setting a particularly bad example in the process. 

I remember singing a song as a kid, something to the effect of, “If you can’t say something nice, sshh, say nothing.” 

Most of us who are parents tell our children the same thing. There are anti-bullying signs up in most, if not all, of the schools in town. I’ve seen them. Our principals regularly talk to students about bullying. It’s supposedly simply not acceptable. 

But we do it to one another regularly. And many of us not only tolerate it, but applaud it, when the leader of the free world shows us he’s a bully at heart, every bit as much as Johnny Lawrence or Biff Tannen or Scut Farkis — sneering and goading and name-calling. 

Differences of opinion are fine. In fact, it’s our disagreements that allow us to reach innovative solutions. It would be quite the boring world if we all agreed all the time, and conflicts — even though at times unpleasant — can spur us to generate ideas we wouldn’t have come up with on our own, with no one to challenge us. 

But to lose sight of the fact that we’re all human beings, with genuine feelings, is folly. How can we expect our children to treat one another with respect when we ourselves don’t? 

All too often we bury our heads in the sand and tell our kids to tough it out or suck it up. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” That couldn’t be further from the truth — words hurt. Sometimes worse than sticks and stones. Words matter. 

We see news headlines about young people taking their own lives following repeated bullying. This is, of course, the ultimate tragedy, that a young person finds him or herself in such despair. On that point, I think we could all agree. 

But to confront such bullying, public service announcements and admonishments from parents and teachers aren’t enough. We have to set the tone and model and reinforce good behavior ourselves, and insist upon the same from everyone around us, including our president. 

“You must be the change you want to see in the world.” I believe this is attributed to Gandhi. Although he really didn’t say it quite that way, I hope you get the gist. 

In the words of a couple of misfits from yet another film from my youth, Bill S. Preston, Esquire, and Ted Theodore Logan, “Be excellent to each other.”