I think Congress could use a group hug right now. It would be hard to coordinate seeing as there’s 100 senators and 435 representatives. And the way they’re getting along right now they’re not likely to want to participate. Maybe an old-fashioned potluck would be more realistic. Nothing says “let’s be friends” like sloppy joes and Jell-O salad.

Plus they could bring the foods their home states are known for — Cuban sandwiches from Florida, salmon from Alaska, lobster rolls from Maine and so on. Potluck organizers could provide the dessert. Humble pie would be perfect. 

You don’t usually see assigned seating at potlucks, but to be on the safe side organizers might want to think through the seating chart carefully. And there should be trained mediators at each table. A food fight would really spoil the occasion.

But wouldn’t it be wonderful if they could pull it off? All 535 senators and representatives seated at round tables in a giant church basement somewhere, drinking coffee and lemonade and jovially discussing the weather, grandkids, sports and politics. Well maybe not that.

If a potluck doesn’t smooth things over, stronger medicine might be called for. What about a congressional retreat in a beautiful undisclosed location? No cellphones, fundraisers or lobbyists telling them how to vote. No constituents calling them up to ask if there’s something in the water in Washington D.C.

There’d have to be some ground rules of course. No name calling. No hitting, kicking or biting. Use your inside voice when you’re inside. If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything. The first few hours might be uncomfortably quiet, but that might be refreshing.

And speaking of refreshing, days could start with meditation and yoga. Then there’d be inspiring and educational workshops like Robert’s Rules of Order Revisited; Anger Management for People Who Are Always Angry; Getting Along with Difficult People and the all-important What to Do When You’re the Difficult Person.

After a day of workshops, senators and representatives could run off steam playing team sports. Naturally they’ll want to select team members from their already established red or blue team, whichever the case may be. Retreat organizers will have to remind them to knock that off. There’s really only one team that matters: Team USA. 

The retreat could also feature some fun team building exercises. There’s the Smile While You Cross the Aisle exercise where participants must speak with someone from the other party until they find five things they agree on. They’ll probably list easy things like, “We agree we both have children,” and “We both think it’s time for dinner,” but it’s a start.

In the I Didn’t Mean It game, team members would be timed while they go around the room as fast as they can apologizing to everyone they ever called a good-for-nothing fool or worse.

And in the No Blame Game, participants would be given an opportunity to speak as long as they want on a topic of their choosing. But a buzzer will sound the moment they criticize the other party. Then they’ll have to sit down and it will be someone else’s turn. I don’t anticipate this game lasting very long.   

Each evening after dinner there will be Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood reruns until dark, then everyone could head outdoors for a campfire singalong until lights out at 10 p.m. Doesn’t it sound terrific? Yes, I definitely think congress needs a retreat. Or at least a potluck. Maybe we all do.

Dorothy Rosby is an author and humor columnist whose work appears regularly in publications in the West and Midwest. You can subscribe to her blog at www.dorothyrosby.com or contact  her at www.dorothyrosby.com/contact.